But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
