maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
