i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
