Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
