i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
