I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
