My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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