The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
