I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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