My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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