dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
