The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize