Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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