I need help removing her.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
