well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
