My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
