all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
