super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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