I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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