where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
