Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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