Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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