She said her name was "party"
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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