Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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