Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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