you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
