Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
