Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize