Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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