I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
