If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
