The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
