I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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