you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
