He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
