So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
