32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
