why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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