Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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