Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
