im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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