is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize