If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize