Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
