I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
