all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize