I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
