Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
