I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
