you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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