Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
