I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
