how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
