it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
