I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
