is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
