This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
