I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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