She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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