I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
That's intense
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
